la da dee, la da da. i hate jimijames. he is too smart for my own good. we hung out last night and he consumed many beers. some people get drunk after many beers, james turns into an uber genius. he is an everyday genius, but with many beers he turns into uber genius. he, more than anyone i know and i dont mean to offend anyone else, just he more than anyone i know gets it. IT. he sees through the bullshit same as i do, but he has this incredible knack to be able to make sense of it all whereas i throw it in a shoebox and try to light it on fire with a lighter missing its flint.
last night we touched on a bunch of topics, what direction i want my life to do, the adventure of life, love and how badly it can ruin you, and how it can build you up better than ever, his new worries now that he is in a new chapter in his life. as with anything, it mostly focused on me, im the more unsettled of the two of us.
we didnt say it but i think the conversation danced wildly aroun the idea of fate and how much control we have over it. then again the whole idea of fate, any choices we make to maybe avoid our own fate, we were predestined to make that decision so fate is by definition unavoidable. that being said, we still are able to say what it is we want out of life. do i want a family? a job? a career? do i want to see the world? do i want this or that or the other thing?
everyone gets a plate. and someone fills up your plate, but you at least get to choose the restaurant. as you go through, your plate gets filled up and you have to decide what to eat first. you can keep all the food seperate, eating just the turkey, or just the corn, but you at least get to eat all of it, and hopefully youll enjoy it. youll really get to know the flavor, youll be able to savior it and be a connosieur of...turkey....or corn. on the other hand, you can take everything on the plate and swirl it around with your fork, make this crazy gloop mess and eat that. you wont taste anything on its own, wont get to know the real flavor of anything, but you at least had a little bit of everything. chances are you wont get to finish any one thing either because youre full from trying everything. this is the craziest metaphor i have ever come up with and it probably doesnt make any sense but it does...to me at least.
so far i think i have been trying to have a little bit of everything. i need to slow down and just concentrate on one thing. there will be time for everything else later.
now if i could only get some wine to wash this down with......