number 3

Abbie K (uhh…couple weeks ago):  now how could someone so new make it to the top 5 already?  Its quite simple.  This is the one that never was.  We jumped the gun a little bit getting into it, which was my mistake.  Seriously though, this girl was/is the complete package, insanely funny and entertaining, beautiful beyond description, brilliant and brilliantly off-color and shameless.  I don’t think ive enjoyed knowing someone as much as her, just knowing her.  We got into it with the momentum of a goddamn freight train and without warning, without any signs along the way or anything, the whole thing derailed.  It would be like walking through the commons on a nice spring day, the ducklings swimming around, eating an ice cream cone, birds chirping, flying a kite and then having the ducks drown, my ice cream falls of the cone, the birds spontaneously combust mid flight, the kite falls and impales a bunch of Chinese school children who were on their way to help the homeless, and then a squirrel shits on my head…and then it rains.  A lot.  Will she read this? I can almost guarantee it.  Will she feel bad?  Probably.  That isn’t my intention at all and she knows it.  I still have a really good feeling about her, and I’m still totally digging it, as is she.  Just stalled on take off, pulled up too hard, too fast.  So I’m circling back around…wait wait wait…ill spare you the lame flying metaphor.  She is cool.  Leave it at that.  Number 3 on the list…abbie lee.