4

4) Jen M (senior year, first few months of college): Jen has cursed me, plain and simple. I had a crush on this girl dating back to 8th grade, she was the ultimate girl, she was cool, she was hot, she was popular…and there was me. Senior year roles around, laura and I had split and jen and I were hanging out all the time. One thing needs to another yadda yadda yadda we are an item. Looking back on it, I could not have asked for anything more. The only thing missing I think was dialogue. Hear me out. There is one thing that has always been missing from every relationship I have ever been in really, meaningful dialogue. You should all know by now that I tend to sway towards the philosophical side of things, to figure out the truth in everything and so forth, its just what I do. No one has ever really satisfied that side of me. Im ranting, back to jen. When youre 17, there is only one thing that matters…getting some. That’s all we did to be honest, to the point where it almost got boring. Given my current state, if the 17 year old me sat down in front of me I would smack him upside the head yell whats wrong with you?! And get on my merry way. I broke up with jen because I saw laura. That’s all it took. She came up to look at NU and I showed her around and that was all I needed. I called jen up that night and did the deed. Back in the day, 8th grade era, the girl was into witchcraft. I swear to god she cursed me that night. The last words she said to me were “this is the biggest mistake of your life.” And I think she meant it. Either way, she cursed my sorry ass. 17 days later I find out my parents are getting divorced. My luck with woman and love turns deadly ever since. Did I break up with her? Yes I did. Did she get her revenge, ten fold. Congratulations jen….youre number 4.