de-gloved

ever notice that sticking to your guns sucks? the moment you decide youve been wronged you are immediatly setting yourself up to bring someone else down. its viscious. there really wont be any clearly defined winner in whatever battle has now been preordained to happen (phrasing error, i know) to take place. at least not with me. why?

because i am a wuss.

and a sucker.

it happens to me all the time. actually, in addition to wuss and sucker, we might also have to add push-over. anyway, no matter the situation, i always feel like i did something wrong afterwards, really wrong. wrong to the point where i was wrong even to think the way i did in the first place. but, i try to remember how i felt in the first place and then maybe i dont feel so wrong afterwards. but then the in the first place me has no idea how the afterwards me will feel once some type of discussion has taken place. usually, i feel in the wrong. not wronged, in the wrong. i think i have an overflowing amount of morality and, dare i say, selflessness. i generally will always put someone else first in the hierarchy of emotional satisfaction than my self. sometimes, it gets reciprocated, sometimes i feel like santa forgot me on christmas when i was 4. and then killed my bunny. and ate it. twice. but seeing as how i put other people first, at least santa got a meal. twice.

new resolution: have the in the first place me have a nice little chat with the afterwards and reach some type of consensus. cut back on morality and selflessness.

as phil collins once said "this is the land of confusion."

welcome welcome.