Okay so whats new?

Reading through my old posts, the first thing that I think about is...actually the first thing I think about is the moment I wrote those.  You can look at a photo and see how you looked, or an old video and hear your voice from years ago but who were you?  Much tougher question to answer.  Going through and reading the old posts; having those is the first time I've ever had hard proof of who I was at a certain point in my being.  Very weird.  In some cases, go me for actually being able to write.  In others, dude, you gotta relax!  In any event, I thought a recap and maybe even a critique of the past 2 plus years is long overdue.  For you, the reading audience, I have broken it down into categories that are relevant to previous posts.  Without further delay:

Music. 

Okay, we all know the band died.  That sucked.  I think we all have regrets that we didnt do this and we didnt do that, and we could have done more.  To my core, I believe that Laura and troop was one awesome band.  I've been listening to our CD, watching old videos now and again and man, we had some good stuff.  I miss it.  There, I said it.  I miss playing with a group that can read each others moves.  I still think that the recording of "Nothing More than This" and the writing we did on "Saving Grace" are pillars of my musical resume that I would put up against anyone.  I was just listening to Nothing More than This in my car and hot damn...the chorus is so killer.  Go LGB.  

I have done minimal, and I do mean minimal playing since the band split.  It's alright though, I'm still having fun playing.  I've been playing at some open-stage sessions and its fun but something is missing from it.  I think its trusting the other people on stage.  Joe was always solid playing drums.  I've been playing with Joe since I first picked up a guitar and I knew where he is going at all times.  Dave...Dave....watching Dave play was like watching Mohammed Ali box.  It was special, and you knew that it was as it was happening.  It was effortless, thoughtful, tasteful, and at times, the most brilliant thing you'd ever heard anyone do.  And then there is Laura.  I've gone back and tried to play Laura's guitar parts.  cant.  I've tried to sing her parts.  cant.  If I never knew Laura as a best friend, as a bandmate, I would still be a huge fan of hers.  She was/is very real in everything she does.  Honest, and passionate.  What else do you need?  

Professional/Flying

Last I wrote I was a Private Pilot.  Now I am a Certified Flight Instructor with steady students, and tons of time in our Super Decathlon.  My goal is so clearly defined, so cut and dry that it is hard to embellish on it.  I am going to be an airshow pilot.  Done.  We've got an aerobatic plane that I am trying to use as much as possible.  

I still struggle with not doing enough.  I can always be doing more to get myself where I need to be.  I don't know if this is a common trait that people have but I can tell that you all my heroes worked their asses off to get to where they are.  What I lack in funding (and make no mistake, this stuff is Expensive...with a capital E) I have to make up for in drive.  A large part of this blog is going to be holding myself accountable for everything.  No excuses.  Just me and the sky.  

Personal

Ah the personal life stuff.  What I can tell you is that I think I've got my bearings.  I know where I want to go, I know how to get there, it's all on me.  I think I've always known things about myself that I want to change...personality traits and everything.  Someone, not too long ago argued this point with me that if there is something about you that you don't like, that you can effect a change.  I say it's possible.  I never said it was easy, but it is certainly possible.  Now, over the course of two years, I'm pretty surprised with how much more mature I feel.  Part of that is being honest with myself about things and either letting them go, or working on them.  I know, broad, abstract statement but if I told you everything now, why would you come back and read this?

I hope I haven't lost my wit.  I've been cooped up at the airport for so long that I'm slightly concerned that I lost something in my writing.  This is my first stab in over two years so hey, cut me some slack dammit.  I haven't exercised this side of my brain for awhile.  There are many many cobwebs I have to dust off.    

I think I've also learned to let a lot of things ago.  There are aspects of life that you can control and somethings you cant.  Its as predictable as a sunrise, but about as hard to grasp as a gentle breeze.  Learning to stay focused and trying to do something hard, its quite the journey.  Its quite the process. But, as I always said and will always say and hope to one day really live out (and appreciate while in the moment), the goal is in the process.  Enjoy it.  

Cp