so long sweetheart, its time to go

i dont understand dying, and im not sure that i, or anyone is supposed to. i suppose this is essentially what every religion is ultimately trying to rationalize, or tenderize, or make-less complex. i apologize to all the religious out there, but i cant buy into the afterlife belief. each religion has one, whether its heaven or what have you. i cant buy into it for the same reason i cant buy into the notion that a guy in a chariot is driving the sun across the sky each day.
so what happens when something passes? the heart stops, the lungs deflate, the blood stops flowing. i wonder what the mind experiences; what it feels and what it sees, or even what it hears. can you imagine nothingness? me neither.
we have all heard the quotes about life and death; "get busy livin, or get busy dyin" or "the point of death is to make life worth living." i can understand and sympathize with those. still though, the idea of nothingness, of not existing is very odd, like putting on a three fingered glove. it just doesnt fit. i suppose that placing death at the end of life makes sense. one last adventure, one last unknown, and youve had all that time (hopefully) to work up the courage to face it bravely, if for no other reason than curiosity.
the one belief system that i think puts forth the best grasp on this whole life and death debate is buddhism. its very simple, there is no birth, there is no death, there is only manifestation and unmanifestation. in short, everything that ever was, still is. everything is just a vibration and it never stops vibrating so long as time exists. everything is interlaced and connected so much so that everyone is everything, and everything is everyone. to find loved ones lost, you only need to walk barefoot through the grass, or feel the rain on your face because there they are. that sounds like a nice idea of peace to me. you dont pass on to some place where all your loved ones are surrounded by ambient light and clouds; you stay right here, and flow through rivers and wake up to the sun, all with the embrace of everyone youve ever known and loved because its all around you, and you are it.
so tomorrow, ill wake up and get ready for work. shower like i usually do, put on my pants, socks and shoes. grab the jacket and the bag, and look for my keys. the only thing different will be instead of patting my little emma on the head and saying "bye" on my way out, ill step outside and see the sun, the sky, the grass, the clouds and trees and ill say hi to her there and be with her the whole day.

she was a good little dog.