what goes up...

So I've had some time to reflect on things since my life altering first solo
flight. I am having some extreme difficulty in finding the proper words to
express what is so great about actually doing it by yourself. There are so
many things that it changes. It is the ultimate in self realization, there
is absolutely no chance that the plane just landed by coincidence, that the
winds just happened to guide you down. There is no chance that your
instructor was maybe holding onto the controls too while you landed because
he simply isn't there. His advice is there, and it ricochets around your
head like a rubber band blasted from a howitzer, but he stands on the
ground, helplessly. You only have yourself, your experience, your
perception of a landing, your reactions, your judgements, your feel, to
bring that craft back to earth. But first, you have to get to the point
where a landing is possible. Meaning you have to leave the ground first of
course. You line up on that runway, 5000 ft of land laid out just for you,
and it seems all so familiar. You have done this before. You know what you
are doing. There is the throttle, you just have to move that up to full,
and there is the rudder pedal, you just have to step on the right one to
keep you straight. And you lift off the ground and you feel more
accomplished than you ever have, youre flying. More particular than just
accomplished though, is the feeling of finally being able bodied or self
sufficient. You are finally able to deliver yourself back to the only place
in the world where you have actually felt at home, without anyones help but
your own. And you can look down on the people who are unfortunate enough to
not be where you are, or see what you see. But you stop short of wishing
the whole world could fly, because at that moment the sky is yours, and
youre not quite ready to share.

And it doesn't stop just because you shut the engine off. You walk a little
taller, speak a little louder, play your guitar with a bit more abandon, and
forget what stress is. Because you have conquered the sky, is there
anything in this world more difficult or more rewarding? I hate to think
so.