oven timer

isnt it crazy how bad we care about the way we are percieved by people placed against the backdrop of our pasts? when i find out that someone that i care about has, perhaps an ill perception of me, it immediatly becomes the most important thing in my life to rectify that and set them straight. whats worse is when they think that i think poorly of them. you could think about this person twenty-four hours a day, 7 days a week, setting up an altar to them in your memories, praising every single second you spent with them, but as soon as you learn that they think you hate them, its all for nothing. your mental temple (ha, thats awesome) is suddenly blackened and everything that was made of gold is really just rusted iron spray painted to look shiny. and you sit there and say "excuse me???!?!?! dont you see this? look at this!!!! i think about you every second im awake, and plenty that im not!!!! please dont do me the disservice of brushing that off!!!!" maybe its the thought that you are alone in your torment. maybe its the idea that they are past it, and you arent. whatever it is, its salt in an open wound. fortunately, its easy to clean. and so, maybe, if they read this, theyll remember who i was, and what i said the last time we spoke, and maybe place some trust in the fact that someone loved them and that they are still everything that they were. and believe it.