the end of tradition, the introduction of prescence.

tonight was my last weekend night in boston spent as a resident. it escapes the regular boundaries of surreal and has created its own realm of bizarre. it is sad with a dash of hope and promise. just like any fine dish its going to be a few minutes before the "hope and promise" side rears its head, for now i am mourning. boston has been my home for 7 years now. it has brought me love that i could not imagine and delivered heartbreak beyond reason. tonight i sit here saying goodbye to the city that fostered my growth more than anyone or anything could prior to this moment. the city lights are blinking and glimmering just like they did yesterday and just like they will tomorrow, only they wont greet me anymore, theyll only serve as a reminder of the life i flirted with, that i almost became.
by this time next week i shall be a resident of rhode island. ill be pursuing something that ive been pursuing since i was a little kid. it is a regression back to something i never wanted to become. does it lessen who i am, or does it speak volumes about who i want to be? i want to be the best, i want to give people dreams while living out my own. yet, i dont want to feel inferior to the masses. i am moving back to rhode island! for those of you not in the know, returning to my hometown is often considered the final nail in the coffin. youll never leave once youre surrendered. but it is the dream that keeps this bearable. if it were anything else, i couldnt do it. ill spend my days immersed in the world that i should have been born into, and hopefully ill love every second of it. as i mentioned previously, there is nothing like the taste of being up there and having the freedom to go anywhere and do anything.
it will satisfy every nerve, every desire, every wish, almost. there will be some that remain unanswered and thirsty, but those can only be quenched with time, sorry to say of course. however, the hope is still there. no promise, just hope. any question i have regarding the nature of true trust and faith and hope and desire, they are going to satisfied. that is not to say that the ends of these queries will be to the sort that i wish, but they will meet their ends at some point. im only hoping that rationality perseveres and my wants are met head on with the same brute force that i think is hiding somewhere. of course i could be naive enough to believe in such a thing, but again, hope, it is a powerful thing.
here we go. life starts now. who is going to be around for it?